I heard Anthony Bourdain speak at the Providence Performing Arts Center last night. He speaks how he writes, so it was thoroughly entertaining. After reading "Kitchen Confidential", and hearing him speak last night, I can't help but wonder if he started writing his first book in that moment that any veteran of the restaurant biz has had, probably more than once. The moment when you say to yourself, "Sweet Jesus, I need to get out of this god- forsaken business," or some variation thereof. My life has several disturbing parallels to his.
I started washing dishes in a restaurant when I was 14 or 15. (I honestly can't remember.) Some evil sonofabitch "promoted" me to line cook when I was 18. Let me tell you, it was less of a promotion and more of a lateral motion. I spent most of my twenties in a haze of alcohol and soft drugs, all the while, working my way up the ladder of the RI restaurant business. Really, the only difference here is Mr. Bourdain's penchant was for drugs of the harder variety. The only difference between us right now is: I'm writing a blog, and he's writing his next book. Also, he has a bunch of money and he's married to a hot italian woman. Hearing him speak last night really inspired me. I've got to keep on writing if I'm ever going to have a pantload of money and a hot foreign wife!
Some would describe Anthony Bourdain as "abrasive". These folks are mistaking honesty. His demeanor stems from being a man who refuses to accept mediocrity living in a world that is overrun with it. His disappointment isn't in Sandra Lee, or the food network, or any other hack that's on there, it's with us. Why do we so willingly accept mediocrity in food, and just about everything else? TV is a vast wasteland of mediocrity. When was the last time you laughed out loud at a sitcom or a movie, with the exception of "The Office?" The lack of holding higher standards in government is enough to write another blog about! More on that later.
This "acceptance of pedestrianism" is evident in the seemingly geometric proliferation of corporate chain restaurants. In the last twenty years, restaurant's like Pizzeria UghNo, TGISaltys, and Applebeast have spread across the country like festering pustules of averageness, while great, privately owned restaurants have floundered. (The misspelling is to avoid legal ramifications.) I'm not saying that the private companies are doing everything right. That has become more than evident to me over the last 15 years. It's just that the corporate places can continue to flourish, even in these tough economic times because of their buying power.
Chain restaurants can afford to buy warehouses full of food and all manner of dry goods, even equipment, at deep discounts for buying in bulk. The reason that a bottle of Budweiser is a buck fifty at TGIchilibees Food Factory is because they buy hundreds of cases at a time. The "mom and pop" places usually don't have that kind of capital to lay out, and even if they did, they probably wouldn't have the space to store that much product.
Of course, my tune would probably change if these restaurants were even remotely good, but they're not. The next time you are unfortunate enough to have just eaten at one of these gastronomic monstrosities, ask yourself these questions:
1. Did the food taste good?
I guess this is subjective, but any time I've eaten the "food" at one of these places, I've been thoroughly underwhelmed with the flavor of the food. Usually it's way too salty.
2. Was the food good for you?
This answer is a categorical no. The salt content alone makes one cringe. Some dishes at chain places have up to THREE TIMES THE USRDA OF SODIUM. Nothing like three days worth of salt in a sitting! YUM!
3. Was the meal price appropriate?
I think even if it's free, food that doesn't taste good, and is not good for me, is not a value purchase.
So, try not to eat at these places. Your blood pressure will thank you. There are plenty of locally owned restaurants to frequent, and I can almost guarantee that the food is better there. And lastly, STEM THE TIDE OF MEDIOCRITY, RAISE YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Love, Peace, ands Bacon grease!
This "acceptance of pedestrianism" is evident in the seemingly geometric proliferation of corporate chain restaurants. In the last twenty years, restaurant's like Pizzeria UghNo, TGISaltys, and Applebeast have spread across the country like festering pustules of averageness, while great, privately owned restaurants have floundered. (The misspelling is to avoid legal ramifications.) I'm not saying that the private companies are doing everything right. That has become more than evident to me over the last 15 years. It's just that the corporate places can continue to flourish, even in these tough economic times because of their buying power.
Chain restaurants can afford to buy warehouses full of food and all manner of dry goods, even equipment, at deep discounts for buying in bulk. The reason that a bottle of Budweiser is a buck fifty at TGIchilibees Food Factory is because they buy hundreds of cases at a time. The "mom and pop" places usually don't have that kind of capital to lay out, and even if they did, they probably wouldn't have the space to store that much product.
Of course, my tune would probably change if these restaurants were even remotely good, but they're not. The next time you are unfortunate enough to have just eaten at one of these gastronomic monstrosities, ask yourself these questions:
1. Did the food taste good?
I guess this is subjective, but any time I've eaten the "food" at one of these places, I've been thoroughly underwhelmed with the flavor of the food. Usually it's way too salty.
2. Was the food good for you?
This answer is a categorical no. The salt content alone makes one cringe. Some dishes at chain places have up to THREE TIMES THE USRDA OF SODIUM. Nothing like three days worth of salt in a sitting! YUM!
3. Was the meal price appropriate?
I think even if it's free, food that doesn't taste good, and is not good for me, is not a value purchase.
So, try not to eat at these places. Your blood pressure will thank you. There are plenty of locally owned restaurants to frequent, and I can almost guarantee that the food is better there. And lastly, STEM THE TIDE OF MEDIOCRITY, RAISE YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Love, Peace, ands Bacon grease!
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